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An Incomplete List of Reasons I Don't Like Spiders

1. They have 8 legs and science has proven that 4 or 2 legs generally work pretty well (e.g. ducks, marmots), therefore spiders are inefficient.
   
2. All legs come out of one hole, which, maybe I'm overeducated, but it seems like the disturbing abyss of the Lacanian Real trying to establish contact with and infiltrate the orders of the Symbolic and the Imaginary. Eesh.
   
3. Some legs point forwards, some point backwards.
   
4. Fur is a possibility despite the presence of an exoskeleton. These spiders seem to be mammal and arachnid at the same time, fitting neatly under the Renaissance definition of a monster.
   
5. They could crawl into my ear as I sleep and lay eggs in there, and then I would wake up with spiders in my ear. (I know this is begging the question--deal with it).